Damage Report

Well as some of you may have noticed by this point, the ask.fm page I use to field anonymously has been experiencing difficulties from the get go, so that needs to be fixed before any Wednesday or Friday help sections are made. In the meantime, let's use this time to see what all of you are interested in. As well as that, until the ask.fm page is reestablished, I'll allow anonymous comments here so that all of you can ask for help if you need without putting your names on anything overly personal.

I hope this has helped, and I hope you all have a lovely day.

Making A Name For Yourself

So, this may seem like a trivial thing, or something easily overlooked, but I thought I'd touch base on it to begin with. Over the last decade or so, I've been known by other people as separate names for separate reasons. In its purest form, these were just nicknames, and still mean nothing, but the point behind them is what makes it important. Now odds are you've been stuck with one of these denominations, and possibly were either insulting or you just didn't agree with the reason why. Now getting people to stop and call you something different is about as easy as moving a mountain, but both aren't impossible. Here's a few steps and a little bit of backstory as well to get you along through this pitifully foggy Tuesday.

1. Pick Your Actions Carefully
   Again, this will sounds extremely trivial, but it is important to not getting slated with an embarrassing alias through your schooling career. If people don't know you personally, as stated last week, will make their opinion of you based on your actions. Way back when to the year of 2010, I used to be a bit of a fighter. It was extremely useful in soccer as I was at one point a goalkeeper, but off the turf I had gotten into my fair share of brawls. I didn't lose, either. People said that I had acted as if I were royalty, by being proud of myself for winning these fights, and carrying myself with a bit too much of an ego. So what would you call someone who seemed to act like a king? They dubbed me Viceroy, pretty much a stand in king.
   
2. Be Social
   When people started the moniker of Viceroy, it didn't last much longer than a year. After the death of Viceroy, I had changed, mainly due to a fair amount of issues I were experiencing at school from people I thought were friends, and the usual grades, dating, and future things, as a normal teen should. I handled it poorly and dove deep into depression, and I mean deep. That's a story for another day, but it had also dubbed me as the Loner or Outcast because of the vastly different shift from being the pompous self rightous brawler who could never be wrong, to the extremely introverted, whiny figure that was the Loner. People started to stray away from me and ignore me, which hurt more that any fight I'd've been in. That was the fight to keep living, and as you can guess from my posting this, I'm not dead yet.
   
3. Be Confident With Yourself
   There is a fine line between confidence and egotistical. When I came down here to the great state of SC, I was slapped with two names, one being a more generalised one, while the other was a slightly judgemental name, but it stuck like glue either way. I'll give you a guess at that first name, odds are you could figure it out fairly quickly. If not, they called me Yankee. A name I find personally fitting. Once I spoke, it almost imediately was the first word on everyone's lips, seeing as how certain words tend to influence the usage of my accent. For years I'd've been hiding it, masking it more and more thanks to my time in choir (another story for yet another day) and had covered it enough to really blend almost anywhere. There are a few words that trigger it and bring it back into light though, and people just ate that up. One of them being Tuesday, which when I say it, comes out very much like I said Toos-dey. The second name, I had been put into a weight training class, and during my bout with depression, I turned to food, so I'm not the most well kept person, yet I was one of the strongest in my class that year, and my friends there just called me Biggs. It's not horrible, but double meanings are everywhere.
   
   
   Pretty much though, if you can follow these three points and build off of it in your own way that only you know of, you'll have an easy time avoiding a horribly scarring nickname.
   
   
   I hope that this has helped, and I hope you all have a lovely day.

Recap Of The First Week

Last week, we talked mainly about your early on interactions with people when first being dropped into a new environment. stemming from what to do if you're one of the more shyer type of person, all the way to a brief overlook for those of you more socially active people who could have an issue with confidence, or anything in between. We've also touched base on things like bullying, in case if the tips and support did not work in your particular case, and how it can dealt with quickly and painlessly. Lastly, we talked about something that normally assists me sleeping easier at night, called ASMR. Now the ASMR video is optional, I like people to feel like they know who their talking to, especially if it involves your own life, and your future. Tomorrow we'll probably touch down on the stress of studying, or possibly another self reflection of assistance.

I hope this has helped, and I hope you all have a lovely day.

Deep Breathing And Assorted Sounds

Today's Friday, and that means I get to share with all of you a little something called ASMR. ASMR stands for Autonomous sensory meridian response, but in a more understandable meaning, that tingling feeling you get when a noise or action piques your interest enough to focus on it. A lot of this is a noise like tapping, scratching, rubbing an odd material and such, but it can also involve many noises the human mouth can make, like clicking, soft/inaudible whispering, and other triggering sounds. 

Now, it is imperative to wear headphones when listening to these, as well as to be in somewhat of a quiet place for its effect to be the greatest. Below will be links to two of my favourite videos on this, as well as a really great ASMRtist, who has a wide range of videos out to allow you to find what noises really make you tick.
EphemeralRift, the youtube channel with tons of scenario based ASMR videos

MassageASMR, a more sound oriented channel, with less video to watch and more to listen to.

This video will explain a bit more what ASMR is, and gives an example of it.

I hope this has helped, and I hope you all have a lovely day.

Social Abnormalities Part 1

Today, I feel like it'd be a good day to elaborate on something people tend to greatly overlook. How to let people know in a nice way that you're either not very talkative, or that you don't want to talk with them. Some people in society are extremely talkative and want to be everyone's friend, whil some of us would much rather enjoy the quieter side of things. Personally, I feel that I'm someplace in between these two spectrums of reality, as are plenty of people.

A few good friends of mine don't exactly see eye to eye, and that's not because of any past hostilities, or any major issues between them, they just don't mesh well together, which is understandable. There are close to 8 billion people in this world, you're not going to be able to get along with all of them. Anyway, back to the story/lesson here. One of my friends, the more social one, came up to me and was attempting to hold a conversation with the entire group of us, the group being a bit more reserved and less talkative. Personality wise they don't exactly mix well, one would overpower the others, and the others would feel slightly claustrophobic, in a sense.

In this little scenario,there are three possible outcomes, which many more could fit into. The first of which, would be the more social person could change how they act oh so slightly, by possibly quieting down a little, and speaking less frequently, turning the attention back to the group instead of themselves. The second would be for the group to adapt to the social person slightly, by paying some attention to them, but not exactly talking directly to or about them. It's a bit more difficult to change an entire group's outlook than it is to change one person's, but it's a possibility nonetheless. The last of the three is the one I find most common and most effective, the use of a Bridge.

"What is a Bridge?" you may find yourself asking. Well, a bridge is the name I've come up with for people as myself. Normally we'd be accepted by both the group and the singular social person, and most of the time, the more social person is looking for the Bridge for one reason or another. Either way, the Bridge would be used as a connector of the two, swapping between both the reserved group and the social person, combining the conversations and building them into each other. Most times this may just be used to get through the small incursion, but some times it also bridges the way for the group to be more accepting of this outsider.

Which ever way it goes over, the easiest way is to appease and not reject. If someone comes up to talk to you, even if it's a salesman in a mall or a passerby in the hallway to class, just smile and say hello. Trade a few words, then continue on your way. It'll leave both you and the passerby in a better mood, and would open the door to new friendships and possibilities in the future.

I hope this has helped, and I hope you all have a lovely day.

Bullies And What You Can Do About Them!

Today is the first day of getting into the "nitty gritty" of this blog, because it's Tuesday, so let's get the ball rolling then, shall we?

Now, basing this off of what I talked about last week with moving to a new location, normally there will be those few people that think they're cool by being rude, or abrasive towards you and almost everything you do. Personally when I came down to S.C. I got lucky. I didn't have any issues with bullies, but I wasn't always lucky. Back in elementary school, I managed to have a little incursion with bullies. Now, I'm not going to get deep into what happened to me, because personally, it's a bit degrading seeing as how I could've stopped it early on if I had realised what to do about it, and that is why I'm here now, to tell you all on how to stop it yourself.

• Don't let outside forces conflict your judgement
  This may be taken a bit strangely, but in general, you are your own person, and you'll have the final say of what happens to you. I've known some people that turn to other figures for help, such as God, your principal, or parents for help in getting them to fight your battles for you. In a bully's eyes, this is seen heavily as a weakness or a vulnerability that they can exploit easily, because they'll be told about it directly. As for God, before I go any farther into this, I respect anyone's religious choice, no matter who you follow or why. Personally I was raised Catholic, and bullied in Catholic school. I turned to God for help, yet had no response. I also went to the principal of the school, and that stopped the bully for maybe two days, then it was worse than it had been.
  
  Long story short, you need to take your life into your hands and make a decision about how to deal with them. The easiest, as hard as it may seem, is to just ignore them to the point that they get bored with you. Bullies usually harass people to get a reaction or a rise out of people, mainly for entertainment or occasionally to let out angst that they've had, such as if they have a rough life at home with abusive parents, or if they were bullied by someone. But such as it is with the fish tank at the bottom of the page, if you stop feeding it, it'll die out.
  
• Keep a cool head
  Now, I cannot, and I mean cannot stress how important this is. In order to deal with a bully, you can't let them get to you, or your emotions. Be stoic, and try your best to completely blank them out of existance. No matter who you are, or how old you may be, this course of action is surefire. If you don't keep yourself under control, or don't block out what they do to you, you'll end up like I was, an extremely over stressed hot head that blew up in his face, and injure people around you, even if they're trying to help you. Blind rage is blind, so keep your head clear, and spirits high, no matter how hard it seems
• Accentuate the positives
  Yes, that was cliche. I apologise for that, but it does in fact, make sense here. If you're happy, or can at least stay positive in the face of hardships, usually it lessens the impact they make. This is extremely true in the case of a bully, because no matter how hard they try, if you just keep on smiling or just being positive, they'll begin to panic and figure out how to change it up to continue on your case. Use this confusion to feel even better about yourself, because you might not know how, but you've just used reverse psychology to your advantage, and let the bully know you've got nothing to fear, especially from them.
  
  
  
  

Now one last question comes to mind, how would one deal with this in something like college or a workplace, because yes, even if they are extremely childish, they too grow up, just a bit slower. All these rules apply to really any scenario with a bully, or just a jerk that harasses people for fun. But in case of emergency, or if you'd like to see more on this topic, be sure to click here and leave a response, comment here, or email me personally if you'd like privacy to work this out. No one is going to judge you here, especially not me.

I hope this has helped, and I hope you all have a lovely day.

So What's Next?

I'd like to take this time to lay out a slight schedule of uploads, so that all of you can get an understanding as to when to expect more posts on this page, and of what content. I'm only human, just like the rest of us, so I'm going to make this interesting as well as informative, which is near next to impossible some times, but I'll do my best.

• MONDAY: Mondays are going to mainly be a weekly recap. It'll be a short look back on some major points from the last week, and be used as a very relaxed way of staying up to date for newer readers
  
• TUESDAY: Tuesdays are going to be a day for advice, taken from a past event in my life that I've come to notice other people going through that fare about as well as I did.
  
• WEDNESDAY: Wednesday is going to be the day I check my ask.fm page for some questions from all of you, and give my insight on the topic, if possible, or if I can't personally assist, point you towards someone who can help better than I. It will also be the day that if there are any comments on the blog itself, I'll answer them there. If not, it's an off day.
  
• THURSDAY: Thursdays will be more advice from my own experience, hopefully from a more recent event. If nothing of value happens, I'll delve deeper into past events like Tuesday's post.
  
• FRIDAY: Friday, I'm not fully sure as to what's going on there. If there are any questions from ask.fm, I'd likely answer them on Friday, but that depends solely on the reader, i.e. you guys. Other than that, I might show ways of destress such as ASMR, or other ways I've found successful in cooling off, or calming down after a long day.
  
  The schedule will be taking place starting tomorrow, as the was only one post from last week. Again, if you'd like to send in a question, click here to submit a question, opinion, and the such.

I hope this has made a difference, and I hope you all have a lovely day!

The First Day Is Always The Hardest

Just to put things into perspective, this blog will most likely be centred around my experiences dealing with new and unfamiliar things in life after moving and other social acts. I plan to use myself as an example in order to sympathize with those that are struggling to adapt with the times of change, as well as give some form of advise to those who want it.

Now, onto the good part.

Some of you have the luck to have friends already wherever you're heading if you need to move away from your hometown, but if you don't, much like how I didn't, fret not. The first day is always the hardest, but only if you decide to let it be the hardest. Even if you're the type to easily shy away from people, following a few basic guidelines can help you now and later in life.

Be Comfortable With Yourself 
This can be a slew of things, depending on what kind of person you are. In my experience, I was the odd one out of almost every scenario, and even though it's slightly cliche, just be yourself. Growing up in a small town, most people remember you for what you've done, not who you are. Use this big change, whatever yours may be, whether its changing schools or changing countries, odds are no one will know you for what you've done, only who you are. So show 'em just who you want to be.


Introduce Yourself
I cannot stress this enough. As I said above, most people form their opinions over your actions if they haven't personally known you. So why not let them know you? People, especially teens, will be more judgmental of quieter people because they have nothing to go off of in terms of personality, likes, dislikes, etc. This is hard for some, especially those that don't much like to talk. Now, I'm not telling you to get out there, doing something you really don't want to, like pouring your heart out to a random guy on the street. All that needs to be said is some basic conversation items, like "Hi, my name is ____, I'm new here." Something as simple as that is normally enough for people to, at least, turn a blind eye in your direction, or start to make friends.


Find People With The Same Interests
High school and beyond can be a frightening place for the fresh meat, i.e. you and me, but just remember; everyone is unique, but that doesn't mean people cannot be similar. Once you've figured out who you want to be, hopefully yourself, and have begun to explore the big sea of people roaming the hallways/campus, look for people that share your same interests. This can happen by either being a bit more talkative for you more confident folk, but for those of us that don't like speaking all to much, clubs are a good alternative. It would allow you to know exactly who is interested in the same thing as you, and start as a building block to warm up to more people. If it turns out it isn't your speed, or you're not exactly interested with said club, there's normally nothing stopping you from quitting and looking into another one. In the same sense, there's nothing stopping you from joining multiple clubs, allowing you to branch out even more.

Using these above, you should have no issue fitting into the niche in high school or college that you want to. Be warned though, this is fairly generalised, and may not work completely for all people. I am always open for questions either here, or over Here.

I hope this has made a difference, and I hope you all have a lovely day.